They say that all girls dream of the perfect wedding. Why is that? How have we been conditioned to believe that this what every girls wants? Even I have fallen victim to this ruse–I, mightiest of all creatures?!! (I jest). After all, it is just a day, an event, an affair. Like all things, they come, and then they pass, and they’re over with in the blink of an eye.

Of course I don’t consider myself the “average girly-girl” but I do admit that I’ve sometimes pictured what that perfect day would look like—where would it be, what would I be wearing, what would be my color scheme, what music would be playing, how would my hair be done, who would be in attendance, etc… oh yeah and who I would be marrying in the first place.  I suppose that always came last because in my visions I could never picture his actual face.

I’ve flipped through wedding catalogs, browsed wedding dress designs, followed wedding blogs, and watched a few of those crazy “Bridezilla” and “Say Yes to the Dress shows.” I do realize just how stressful planning these weddings can be, and I wonder what fun is it if you’re going to be so stressed out all the time? It makes sense to put so much time and effort into making this day perfect, but I think I, along with a kabillion other silly girls, have been forgetting what is most important. A wedding is meant to celebrate the union of two souls. Having a wedding means that among all the gazillion people on this earth, you’ve found your one true soul mate, who, hopefully, you’ll be together with for the rest of your days.

As such, I’ve recently decided to stop pretending to plan out the details for my perfect wedding that who-knows-may-never-happen, and reshift my focus onto what it signifies. I’m now looking forward not to that perfect wedding day, but rather to (hopefully one day) experiencing that perfect moment in my life when I will truly, madly, and deeply know that I’ve found my one true soul mate.

If / when that moment comes, the wedding to come will be, by default, perfect indeed.

Sometimes I really gross myself out. -_-


– Yevgeny Yevtushenko

When your face
appeared over my crumpled life
at first I understood
only the poverty of what I have.
Then its particular light
on woods, on rivers, on the sea,
became my beginning in the coloured world
in which I had not yet had my beginning.
I am so frightened, I am so frightened,
of the unexpected sunrise finishing,
of revelations
and tears and the excitement finishing.
I don’t fight it, my love is this fear,
I nourish it who can nourish nothing,
love’s slipshod watchman.
Fear hems me in.
I am conscious that these minutes are short
and that the colours in my eyes will vanish
when your face sets.


November 2022